“There are two seas in Palestine. One is fresh, and fish are in it. Splashes of green adorn its banks. Trees spread their branches over it and stretch out their thirsty roots to sip of its healing waters… The Sea of Galilee receives but does not keep the Jordan. For every drop that flows into it another drop flows out. The giving and receiving go on in equal measure. The other sea is shrewder, hoarding its income jealously. It will not be tempted into any generous impulse. Every drop it gets, it keeps. The Sea of Galilee gives and lives. The other sea gives nothing. It is named The Dead. There are two kinds of people in the world. There are two seas in Palestine.” ~ Bruce Barton

Life’s challenges continually shape us, but how they ultimately shape us is up to you and me. Across all of our individual challenges and choices, we select — each moment, hour, and day — the kind of person we are and will become. The kind of person we have been to this point in our lives doesn’t have to determine our ultimate destination either.  We have control over who we are today…and as a consequence, we have control over who we will be “tomorrow.” Will we receive with gratitude the gifts our Father in Heaven gives us?  Will we share our gifts with others, benefitting all parties?  Or will we take the sad and selfish route?  The two seas in Palestine could not be more different because of what each one does with the same shared water.  Little surprise that the Jordan River is the place the Savior chose for His baptism. Just as the Jordan River continually feeds the Sea of Galilee, Jesus can feed us spiritually with Living Water, continually renewing our spiritual lives as we receive our gifts in gratitude and share them with love to uplift and bring joy to others.  We get to choose — each moment — what we will do with the Living Water. Will we receive and give equally, or take and give nothing in return?  No matter our past, we can choose to give and live.  It is up to us.

John Harmer here.

In 1964 (that’s right – 49 years ago) I was a young attorney in Los Angles.  Some local law enforcement officials requested my assistance in obtaining evidence against a major distributor of pornography.  We ultimately obtained convictions with fines and jail sentences for the guilty parties.  I was stunned to learn that all too soon they were out of prison and right back in the devil’s workshop.  Soon senior law enforcement officials were seeking my assistance.

Over that forty-nine years I have appeared in courts at every level, from the local Justice of the Peace to the Supreme Court of the United States.   I have known thousands of individuals who,   like the poor fly in the poetic fable by Mary Howitt of “The Spider and the Fly,” have been seduced into the clutches of pornography.  Unlike the poor fly who became the spider’s dinner, those who have become entrapped by pornography have to continue on in a living hell of misery.

I am not a therapist.  I am not trained to heal.  I am a trench warrior who has been fighting against these “evil and conspiring men and women” who present lust as love and deviancy as a harmless form of entertainment.  I know those who produce and distribute pornography.  I know their motives, I know their lies and their seductive enticements.  Worst of all, I have come to know Him whose servants they are, the Father of Lies.

This is not the place to attempt to share all of the lessons that I have learned about how pornography destroys the individual who allows it to entrap him or her into its clutches.  Let me share with you the cycle that has become all too familiar to me.

After a meeting where I have been speaking to an audience to whom I am a total stranger a small group of the people (mostly women)  will patiently stand by waiting to speak to me in privacy.  As soon as they begin I remind them that I am not a therapist.  The response will be, “…please let me tell you my story.”  In my heart I will say, “I already know your story.” I also know their sorrow and agony of soul and I wait
until they finish.  Invariably  the story is always the same.

The story begins with a quiet change in personality and behavior.  The victim begins to withdraw from the association with loved ones.  That withdrawal turns into deceit.  The victim deceived himself with the delusion, like the fabled fly, that he or she are different.  They need not fear the awful monster because they are too smart to be entrapped.  Then, when it is too late, the self-deceit becomes deception in all relationships, with family, spouses, friends and even God.

The deceitfulness turns into anger.  The anger produces contention.  The contention breeds bitterness and then comes either a turning away by the victim from all that love him or her, or a confession and an appeal for help.

If you are somewhere in this cycle of deceit –even if you are addicted – I plead with you to accept three basic realities:

(1)   You cannot win this battle alone.  Swallow your pride and seek for help.

(2)   Do not believe it is hopeless.  I can introduce you to many who have served time in penitentiaries because of pornography but have come through to find love and life again.

(3)  Know that God will help you if you come back to Him with a broken heart.

I know this is true.

(Mr. Harmer just wrote a book entitled: “A Generation of Aliens” – The book is sponsored by The Lighted Candle Society- an organization fighting pornography.)

Print off the “40 Day Challenge” to start you after-conference fun!

In the moments when I’m  consumed with feelings of  being nothing more than a complete disappointment or an unforgivable sinner, I push God away. I stop viewing Him as an unconditionally loving father who loves me perfectly regardless. I  also stop viewing myself with accepting and forgiving eyes. Because of the way I think God must view me, or because the way I view myself is too painful, I survive by cutting myself off from these emotions. I choose numbness, or apathy, over pain and hurt. The numbness is my protector–protecting me from the profoundly deep hurt that comes when the view of myself, especially what I think God’s view of me must be,  is so utterly horrible.

A truth I am more fully recognizing is that even if the numbness is a ‘protector,’ it is also a villain, shielding me not only from the pain and hurt but also from love, joy and acceptance (especially that of self-acceptance). So I have made a choice. The choice of choosing to view myself differently. Yes, I am a sinner and I have made serious mistakes but rather than seeing this as my “scarlet letter” and flogging myself for the rest of my life, I am choosing to  view myself with accepting and forgiving eyes. As I have begun doing this, I have noticed that the numbness is slowly being replaced with feelings of hope.  Although I have a difficult road ahead, I know – both intellectually and emotionally — that I have a choice. I can continue to view myself negatively, and project that on God’s view of me.  Or, I can continue to change the way I view myself, thus revealing the truth about God’s view and ultimately leading to acceptance inspite of hurt, pain, joy or whatever it may be. There is hope, and I found it in the way I choose to view myself.

K.- A  Voice for Virtue

VFV fans, like K.,  in what ways have you noticed your self view impact your life?

There are many places to start, but to get the full story, let’s start when one of my best friends moved away. We used to hang out almost every day. We would create our own games, and sometimes had others join. It was hard when he moved. I prayed for a new friend to come. The whole summer I waited.

No one came.

Then came a few weeks before school started up. I had gotten my schedule almost planned out. We just had two classes to work out. To me, the order didn’t matter, but in the back of my mind, I heard that English needed to go before Chemistry. Eventually, I followed the voice and my schedule was put together.

On the first day of Chemistry, I walked in, and as far as I remember, there were two seats to pick. One on the left, and one on the right Part of me didn’t want to sit on the right, because of this guy who, well, I misjudged by looks. It took a while before I decided to sit by him.

The teacher had put up a presentation, and I normally would’ve paid attention, but his art was, for some reason more intriguing. I asked him what the creature was that he was drawing. It felt familiar. He called him Scroob. The next question just came out of my mouth without thought. “You know, I could create a 3D model of him, if you want.” He seemed excited about that, and drew up reference sheets.

I was able to create the model and when I showed him, he was amazed, as well as the person sitting between us. She seemed to know who Scroob was.

The story goes on: A stag dance came up, and I went, but had no one hang with. I felt alone. I happened to come across him. He introduced me to most of the group that I hang out with today.

It took me months before I realized. If I hadn’t listened to the spirit, and set my schedule different, I wouldn’t have met one of the best friends I have ever had. He has helped me along so much.

v4v Fan

Hi v4v,

I follow you guys on facebook and often seen letters posted about people struggling with sexual temptation etc. I think it’s great there is a place people can go and get support and advice from others. I have respect for those who are overcoming  these struggles and have the motivation to become better. But I have a different  kind of letter.

I’m not looking for advice. I’m not having any kind of sexual problems. I’ve never  broken the law of Chastity, sat down and watched pornography, or even engaged in exchanging dirty jokes. I’m not saying this to pat myself on the back or for people to tell me good job, I just wanted to let everyone know that, despite the world we live in, there are young people who are sexually clean and pure, and I know many others besides myself.

Having followed the law of Chastity throughout my life, I just wanted to testify  that I know that I have been blessed because of it, and I know that others can be  too. Really, this commandment is so important to me and has helped me cultivate a  greater respect for and understanding of intimacy within a marriage.

I am a 23 year old virgin. And I’ve never regretted it. I know that waiting until I am married to the right person (in the temple) before having sex is the right thing  to do, and will ultimately strengthen our marriage as we work to learn and grow  together. I also believe anyone can receive the blessings of the law of Chastity.  Thanks to the atonement, anyone who has strayed can become pure again–no matter how  serious the sin.

If you are struggling with sexual sin–don’t give in! Work to overcome it. It’s  worth it.

Kami

Law-abiding girl.

Dear Voices For Virtue,

I guess I just wanted to share my testimony with anyone who may need it. Years ago I found myself on a very wrong path. I started looking up things on the computer that didn’t start out so bad, but eventually progressed to a worse nature. I found myself almost trapped in the addiction of pornography, but not only that, I was also dealing with feelings of same-gender attraction. I didn’t want to tell anyone for a number of reasons. My problem got worse as time passed by. A few years ago, I finally got up the courage to talk with my bishop about the problem, and he had me tell my parents about it. That was one of the most difficult things I had done in my life.

At first, I thought my problem would be easy to get through because I had confessed the problem to my parents and bishop, but I was mistaken. A few months later I started meeting with an LDS Family Services counselor who helped, but I felt as though I progressed to a very small degree. I stopped seeing this counselor for a while, and I don’t think I progressed much during that time period. So my bishop met with me again and we decided that I should go back to seeing a counselor. I started meeting with a different counselor, and doing more study on my own as to how I could get through this problem.

I have learned many valuable lessons throughout my experience.

I have come to know that it is only through Jesus Christ that we can truly repent and become whole again. Sometimes in life we can start feeling as though we do not deserve the Atonement in our lives because we feel we are not good or worthy enough, and we may start working on our own without seeking the Savior’s help. I have found that this is a bad idea. When we go about doing this, it is like telling God that we can accept the Atonement after we have proven that we can make it through life without it. In all actuality, we cannot improve our lives and become cleansed without accepting and seeking his help and guidance.

I have also learned that sin-especially sin of an addictive behavior can be related to a battle.  I am truly grateful for my battle against sin. I am still battling against it today, but I know that I can make it through by studying more about the gospel in my life. I hope I can continue to learn in the gospel and strengthen my testimony. My experiences have brought me closer to my Savior in a way that I’m not sure any other experience would.

Ryan, A Voice For Virtue

There is this boy I like. He’s really cute. Well, the last two weeks I’ve been talking with him have been..uneasy. I’m going to be honest; I’ve talked about, well, not appropriate things with the guy. Like, I’ve known more about what he’s done…in bed, than anything else.

I didn’t know how much it was bugging me until today, when my friend and I decided that we were just going to be done with this boy. The minute I decided I wasn’t going to talk to him, I felt totally uplifted! It’s like I never realized the impact “just talking about it” had on me until I decided to stop “just talking about it.” I’m glad I did it. Turns out that he’s been flirting with me AND my friend; which tells me that he was trying to see who was easier of the two of us. 

I am so glad I didn’t I set my sights on that for too long! I’m pretty sure it would’ve ended in a bad, bad situation; one where I would’ve looked back on with regret, saying “I did that with…him!?” 

This situation made me realize that I was going down a path that wasn’t so great. Example: One night we were talking about this girl who was at his church (did I mention he considered himself very religious, ridiculous right?) and I said something about her not acting like a church girl is supposed to. Which then, he got defensive and pointed out that I was dirty and swore a lot. It was kind of like an eye opener when he told me that I was basically a hypocrite. It made me want to do better, which, by the way TOTALLY freaked him out. The next day I was like “You know, it’s not easy to clean up my mind with you around” and he flipped out and was like “I don’t want you to clean up your mind, I like you the way you are.” Which was another eye opener because I realized I didn’t want to be the way that he saw me. I mean, who wants to be that girl who is just the dirty minded girl? No one! It’s just sort of made me realize that if I don’t want to attract these type of guys, I need to stop acting like it. And yeah, it was interesting!

Sometimes it’s hard to see all the ways my virtue is being attacked. Sometimes I struggle standing up for virtue but when I do, I feel better. I learned a life lesson today. Even just deciding to change how I talk, including swearing and talking about unvirtuous things, is a way to be a voice for virtue…my voice for my virtue. 

I hope you find the quote and explanation of Dante’s : The Divine Comedy worth sharing. I certainly do.

O thou Almighty Father, who dost make the heavens thy dwelling, not in bounds confined, but that, with love intenser, there thou view’st Thy primal effluence, hallowed be thy name: Join, each created being, to extolthy might: For worthy humblest thanks and praiseis thy blest spirit. May thy kingdom’s peace come unto us; for we, unless it come, with all our striving thither tend in vain. As, of their will, the angels unto the etender meet sacrifice, circling thy throne with loud hosannas, so of theirs be done by saintly men on Earth. Grant us this day our daily manna, without which he roams Through this rough desert retrograde, who most toils to advance his steps. As we to each pardon the evil done us, pardon thou benign, and of our merit take no count. Gainst the old adversary prove thou not our virtue, easily subdues, but free from his incitements, and defeat his wiles, This last petition, dearest Lord! Is made not for ourselves, since that were needless now, but for their sakes, who after us remains.  (Dante’s : The Divine Comedy Poem of the Pugatorio Cant 11, lines 1-24)

Dante Alighieri ( 1265-1321 ) is one of the most important and innovative figures of the European Middle Ages. Writing his comedy ( the epithet Divine was added by later admirers ) In exile from his native Florence, he aimed to address a world gone astray both morally and politically. At the same time, he sought to push back the restrictive rules which traditionally governed writing in the italian vernacular, to produce a radically new and all-encompassing work.

The Comedy tells of the journey of a character who is at one and the same time both Dante himself and Everyman through the three realms of the Christian afterlife: Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven. He presents a vision of the afterlife which is strikingly original in its conception, with a complex architecture and a coherent structure. On this journey Dante’s protagonist – and his reader – meet characters who are variously noble, grotesque, beguiling, fearful, ridiculous, admirable, horrific, tender, and though them he is shown the consequences of sin, repentance and virtue, as he learns to avoid hell, and though cleansing in purgatory, to taste the joys of Heaven.

The Comedy of Dante is packed full of quotes such as the one above. Others however, are not for the faint of heart… or weak of stomach. He leaves you in no state of mind to knowingly commit sin. This book will make you cringe,  cry, laugh, and leave you with a sense of peace. Depending of course, upon the poem in question. The  Comedy is a collection of 3, one for each of Hell, Purgatory and Heaven

Thanks Daniel, a voice for virtue.